Pay Yourself First – Break Free from the Middle-Class Mindset and Start Living Your Life Today

Are you living your life or just paying bills and waiting for the next thing to break?

Sometimes I feel like if you’re middle-class you might procrastinate on doing the things that you want to. If you’re not sure if this applies to you, answer this question. Do you look at the price of chicken and choose the one that’s 42 cents cheaper? If you said yes, this applies to you.  It’s just a small choice, but those small choices start adding up to a life where you’re constantly choosing necessity over joy. We wait to book a trip because we have bills to pay and the extra money has to go to fixing the dryer that needs replacing or the car that needs brakes. As soon as you save enough money to fix those things, boom something else comes up, and before you know it, the whole year has gone by and you didn’t get to do the things that you wanted to. The concert you wanted to attend already came and went. The lake that you wanted to get to is closed for the season.

 It seems like it’s usually the middle class that gives up the little joys in life. Most of the articles that you read tell you that if you need to save money and pay off your bills you should cut your streaming services or stop buying lattes. They tell you to cancel your gym membership and stop eating out. What if the things that we are cutting out are the ones that are motivating us to do better? Speaking from personal experience, I know that I am capable of working two jobs from the early morning to the early night with no time to get a workout in or plan a weekend excursion. I can tell you that by the time you get that day off, you’re not feeling very motivated to do anything because you’re exhausted.

Here's the truth: the little things that we’re sacrificing – the lattes, the gym membership, the weekend getaways - aren’t luxuries, they’re fuel for your soul. So why do we cut out the very things that keep us moving forward?

Americans typically get between 2-4 weeks off per year, weekends and holidays. That gets us to around 130 days off out of 365. Roughly just over 1/3 of the year we’re not working. That’s great if you have a typical job and can make it one salary. If you’re self-employed or working two jobs like I do, that time off gets significantly less. It’s extremely rare for me to take a work day off from my job because I can bring my work with me, so even on my vacations, I’m still putting in some time. Having a 2nd job means working weekends which is typically downtime for many people. I decided to print a year-long calendar and fill it in with days worked among other things that I wanted to track. We’re not quite done with October yet, but here are my numbers from Jan 1 – Sep 30. Out of the 273 days that have already passed, I worked 229 of them. That’s 44 days off in nine months. Most of the time when I take days off I have other things to attend, so it’s pretty rare that on one of my days off I’m out and about having a fun day.

Don’t get me wrong, I traveled, got together with family and friends, and did fun things, but you would think for all the hours I put in that I would be sitting pretty good financially right? All those extra hours should be moving the needle closer to the upper class. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. The truth is the 1st job covers the bills. The 2nd job covers the taxes that the first job costs me. There are no leftovers. The fact of the matter is that I don’t go to Starbucks or Dunkin. I don’t have cable. My streaming bills are about $20 a month. I gave up my gym membership and haven’t gone to a fitness class in months. Vacations are state-side and generally involve seeing family. The one trip that I took back up the East Coast was the first vacation that I’ve been on in 5+ years.  

What happened to pay yourself first? Does that only count for saving money? Doesn’t your mental health count? If you’re happier, won’t you be more productive? The middle-class mindset trap isn’t just about money-it’s about feeling stuck in a cycle of ‘not yet’. We tell ourselves, “I’ll do that when I save enough” or “I’ll have fun once this bill is paid off”, but that 'not yet' turns into years. Meanwhile, life keeps passing by.

So what’s your choice going to be? Another year of 'maybe next time' or a decision to start living now/ You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start with one thing that brings you joy and make it a priority, not an afterthought. Pay yourself first.

As I enter the last year of my 40s, I’ve decided it’s time to stop playing the middle-class game and start living. Join me on this journey. I’ll be sharing my adventures, big and small, as I break free from ‘waiting to live’.

Stay tuned!